Broken - english version
by Mionarchy
Summary: Time is hard in Soul Society after the war. The shinigamis are weak, and have to get stronger. But how will Kuchiki-taicho be able to help Matsumoto Rangiku when she's even scared of her own captain? Rated M for now.
1. Chapter 1 : Excuse me?

**Okay so here's the english version of my story. Don't be too hard on me, I'm french, so I think there will be more than one mistake! Still, enjoy ;-)**

* * *

Kuchiki-taicho was walking, head held up high, toward the first division. People scattered, shinigamis bowed, but he never stopped, never even acknowledged their presence. After all, he was the Kuchiki heir and head of the family. He was no nobody. He thought again of the message the Hell's butterfly had given him. What kind of emergency could it be? The war was long over, almost everything was back in the right place. Even if there had not been a huge number of victims, the families had been taken care of properly. There was nothing that could justify such a urgent call from the Sôtaicho. He frowned and entered the hall of the first division. He was the last one, but gave no excuse. There was no need to, so he just sat.

- Captains, the Sôtaicho began. The reason you are here today is because of something urgent. Something that kept me awake most of nights. You fukutaichos are weak. All of them were beaten to a pulp during Karakura's battle. I had to step in myself to save Hinamori, Matsumoto, Hisagi and Kira fukutaichos.

- Sôtaicho, tried Hitsugaya.

- I am not done, Hitsugaya-taicho. They lack in training. If we were attacked once more, we could not win, not in the state we're in. From now on, every taicho must train with another fukutaicho. And this is final.

Byakuya frowned. Sure, the man had a point, but it was annoying. His men respected Renji, and training him had sometimes been difficult. His methods left Renji no time to breathe, and he was the only one fit to handle them. Was there such a stubborn person anywhere else? He looked at the others Captains, thinking of whether he'd like to work with their fukutaicho. No. No. Hell no. He sighed. Sasakibe placed a piece of paper in front of the old man and started to talk.

- Second division Soi-Fon taicho, you will be responsible for Isane-fukutaicho, 4th division.

Byakuya closed his eyes. Please, he thought, everyone but Omaeda. The man was like dead weight. It was a miracle he made it this far in the 2nd division.

- Third division Rose-captain, you'll train Omaeda fukutaicho, 2nd division.

The head of the Kuchiki signed in relief. He never understood why Omaeda was in the second division, which needed rapidity and discretion. The man was more noisy than a whole herd of bulls.

- 4th division captain, Unohana-taicho, you will take care of abarai-fukutaicho, 6th division.

It could have been worse. Unohana could teach Renji to master his kido. And it's not like he didn't know she was Kenpachi before Zaraki.

- 5th division Hiraki-taicho, you will train Kurotsuchi-fukutaicho, 12th division. 6th division Kuchiki-taicho…

Byakuya's attention was immediately caught back on the man speaking. He hoped he would not have to take care of Zaraki's brat.

- With Matsumoto-fukutaicho, 10th division.

He tensed up. Matsumoto Rangiku. Nobody could be more opposite to him than she was. He was calm, she was noisy. He was cold, she always said whatever came to her mind. She always smiled, he didn't remember the last time it happened to him. He was a workaholic, she never missed to give her work to her captain. That would be difficult.

- You can go, now.

He blinked. He didn't even hear the rest of the discussion. Not that it was important anyway. He knew where Renji would go and who would come with him, that was what mattered. He made a U-turn, his scarf and haori floating in the air.

- Kuchiki-taicho, called a voice.

- Hitsugaya-taicho?

- Don't be too hard on Matsumoto, please. The war has broken her. Physically, and mentally. She's not ready for a full training.

- That is because you pamper her too much.

The young captain frowned. To tell the truth, Byakuya only answered this way so he wouldn't have to hear any more of this. He knew that Matsumoto Rangiku was not weak, despite all her faults. He had seen, after the war, a recording of her face-off with the number 3 fraccions. She had held on, even with all the beatings she had taken. It was the fear that had gotten the best of her. That was what needed work.

- Taichooooooooo! Cried a voice.

Byakuya looked at the newcomer. A big smile on her lips, her hair flowing out, a protuberant bosom that threatened to escape with each step she took. Matsumoto Rangiku looked everything but broken.

- Matsumoto, growled Hitsugaya. You are still here instead of doing your paperwork?

Byakuya looked at the weird exchange between them that followed. These two spent their time bickering, but it was crystal clear that they cared about each other, even for him, who was sentimentally crippled. "Kuchiki-taicho" he heard. He concentrated on the discussion and noticed that the fukutaicho was staring at him. He looked at her, and couldn't help but notice the fear he could read in the way she held herself. She looked like she could escape at first sign of danger. The next few weeks would be really long.

- It takes effect immediately, Matsumoto. Go get your stuff, and move in Abarai's place at the 6th. And don't you dare give your paperwork to Kuchiki-taicho.

But Matsumoto, instead of laughing it off, bowed politely and shunpoed her way out of here.

- She's scared of me, he said plainly.

- She's scared of a lot of people now. Some time ago, she was even scared of me…

Byakuya glanced at him, surprised. Maybe, she was more broken than he first thought.


	2. Chapter 2 : Truth and plead

Rangiku closed the door of her new place and dropped to the floor. She glanced at her hands, trying to stop them from shaking. In vain. Feeling helpless, she closed her eyes. Immediately, she saw the monster that was the source of her fear. Other things followed: the three Fraccions, laughing at her helplessness, Hinamori hurt, Sôtaicho's cold eyes, Kyoraku-taicho and Ukitake-taicho falling against Starrk, every Espada she ever saw, then the shinigamis. Gin, who had betrayed her before asking for her forgiveness, the immeasurable strength Aizen had gained, the honorable Touzen, who turned into a murderer. Hirako-taicho and his mask. Ichigo and his mask. Kuchiki-taicho trying to end his sister's life in cold blood. It was too much. The anxiety attack that threatened to happen happened. Her shaking went out of control, her tears rolling on her cheeks, her cries tearing through the silence. It lasted almost 20 minutes, then she calmed down. Still now, she was surprised by how much she could cry. She tried to stand up, but her knees gave up, showing her how scared she was to face Kuchiki-taicho.

* * *

The man had always intimidated her, despite what she let others think. He cold, haughty and strong. That shyness had turned to worry the day he volunteered to bring back Rukia-san from the real world. That worry became fear the day she learned what he had done to Ichigo. And that fear became terror the day all hope had vanished from her life. It may have been irrational, seeing how he was a part of the Gotei 13, but Kuchiki Byakuya was one of the scariest for her. Just because he was a captain didn't mean he couldn't hurt her. Gin had done it.

* * *

Thinking about her friend broke her. She loved him. She had always loved him. He was her best friend, her brother, the man she trusted. The first man she had ever loved. All these years became dust the day Aizen had shown his treason. She had placed her sword against Gin's neck. Despite his treason, that had been the most difficult thing she ever had to do.

* * *

Now, there was only two men she didn't fear. The first was Hitsugaya Tôshiro. Her captain. The most important man. Her friend, commander, protector. The captain had spent weeks trying to break through her fear. He had been hurt, and she knew that he often glanced at her with worry when they went out. He worried about a relapse everytime. And so did she. The second man she trusted was Muguruma Kensei, the old and new captain of the 9th division. Only few people new that he had saved her more than once during the war. He was a calm and mature man but not the kind of calmness Kuchiki-taicho showed. Kensei was warm, reassuring.

* * *

A knock at the door surprised her, and the shaking began again. She stood, trying to calm down and allowed the visitor in.

- Matsumoto-fukutaicho! My name is Rikichi. The captain asked me to bring you to him.

She gulped, hoping the teen in front of her didn't notice the state she was in. Nobody could know. She'd lose everything she fought so hard to gain during her life. She smiled and followed him in the corridors. She ended up on a training ground, the captain waiting for her, standing still in the middle of it, staring at her with his grey eyes. Her breath shortened with fear. The man showed no emotion at all. She tried to put her mask back on.

- Kuchiki-taichoooooo! You called? I hope it's not for paperwork, she sulked.

- I want to know what you're made of.

He unsheathed Senbonzakura. The blade was as beautiful as it was dangerous. Murderous. He raised it, waiting for her to take out Haineko. So she did, raising it in front of her. Haineko felt heavy and cold, as if it were just a blade, and not her zanpakuto, a piece of her own soul. She closed her eyes and breathed in before attacking. That didn't work. The captain's Shunpo was the fastest around here since Yoruichi-san left. She turned, and barely blocked his attack. The man had a poker face. It was as if she couldn't even strain him. She faked a left attack but went right. This time, she cut a little bit of his haori. He said nothing and let her continue. Suddenly, she felt a change. He wasn't just looking anymore, he was attacking, and watching her defense. Her lacking defense. He wounded her more than once, in the arm, in the back and in her left thigh. He frowned and stepped back.

- In shikai, now.

Without waiting, he attacked, launching his metal petals at her. When he noticed that she stilled, scared, he shunpoed towards her to block the attack, and sheathed his sword. He frowned again and turned towards her.

- Matsumoto-fukutaicho. I thought I told you to use shikai.

- I… I'm sorry captain.

- Again, he said and made to move away.

A hand caught his sleeve, surprising him. Nobody touched him. Not even Rukia. He looked at her, and she removed her trembling hand as soon as she saw his eyes. She bowed.

- I… I can't, captain.

She had whispered these words so low that he wasn't even sure she had said them. When she understood that he wasn't going to say anything, she straightened her back and closed her arms around herself, trying to fight off the cold that was creeping its way up to her. She was about to tell the very person she feared that she was too weak. The shuddering happened so often that she didn't notice it anymore. The captain looked at her hands, and she looked down, trying to keep her emotions to herself.

- I can't use shikai anymore… since the war.

Byakuya hid his surprise by raising an eyebrow. He had never heard of such a thing. A fukutaicho that couldn't use shikai anymore? Why the hell did Hitsugaya let that happen? Even with his feelings for the woman.

- Taicho doesn't know, she said, understanding where his thoughts had led him. Nobody… nobody knows. I can't even hear Haineko…

Thinking about Haineko from who she hadn't heard in months was too much. Once more, she broke in tears, falling to the ground, curling up. Byakuya watched the woman in front of him, a weird feeling upsetting him. That woman, always laughing and smiling, was now crying in front of one of the most emotionless man in all of Sereitei. What did she expect of him? Comfort? She should know she wouldn't find it with him. He had heard of people who were broken by wars but this woman… this woman was strong. She had been strong. She shouldn't have been broken like that. "Gin" he heard between her sobs. Was he the reason she was like that? He knew they were childhood friend, but still… He came close and took her arm, standing her up. He kept his hand in place, in case she fell again. He never knew someone so different from what she once had been. He couldn't do anything for her broken heart, but maybe he could help her for her zanpakuto. He caught her again, and shunpoed to the 12th division.

- Let's go see Kurotsuchi-taicho. He will probably be able to help.

For the second time tonight, she touched him, preventing him from going further.

- Please, taicho. I'll train! I'll do my best! But please, don't force me to go in there!

- Why? He can help you, even if he's a crazy man.

- Hinamori is here right now. If I go in… Taicho will know. I can't ask him to cover for me anymore…

- Then just quit. Everything would be fixed.

Tears swelled up in her eyes. Asking her to quit was like asking her to go back to the Rukongai. Impossible. She fought so long to go out of there that she swore to herself that she would never go back there.

- I can't go back there.

He looked at her. His emotionless stare was scaring her. Why did she tell him? She could have lied, told him something else… Now she would lose her place, her life. She closed her eyes and just when she was about to go to Hitsugaya-taicho to tell him the truth, he spoke.

- A month, not more. You will train every day, in swordsmanship and in meditation. If at the end of the month you're still not able to talk to Haineko, you'll quit. Am I making myself clear?

She couldn't believe it. He was giving her a chance. The cold and hard man in front of her gave her a chance to catch up. She smiled – the first real smile in a while – and nodded. He nodded too and disappeared. Rangiku's smiled faded when she realized. A month?


	3. Chapter 3 : Welcome back

Her blade pierced the wind, threatened the air. For more than a week, she had been spending most of her time training, as ordered by the Captain. But training alone didn't do much for her. She sighed and wiped sweat drops on her forehead. She sat, her feet under the other leg's knee, Haineko resting on her thighs. She breathed in heavily, her hand touching the still cold blade of her zanpakuto. She missed Haineko. If she were here, with her, she would certainly not be afraid. Certainly… She tried to make her world appear in front of her and waited, and waited, for a long time. Nothing. Defeated, she opened her eyes again, only to realize it was dusk. She must have been meditating for at least an hour. She sighed again and began to stand up when she felt a presence that made her jump.

- It's me, Rangiku.

- Kensei, she said in relief. What are you doing here?

- I felt your reiatsu. I wanted to know if everything was okay.

- Oooooh, she cooed. Were you worried about me?

- Not at all, I just wanted to make sure you didn't bother Kuchiki.

She smiled tenderly. He WAS worried about her. He didn't care about the bother she could bring Kuchiki-taicho. He cared whether or not she was still scared of him.

- Yes, he still scares me. I can't do anything about it. I can't stop thinking about the battles he fought in, about his cold face… the day Rukia-san almost died.

- And Hitsugaya?

- Taicho? No, I'm not afraid anymore. Sometimes I still recall his face as he fought against Aizen but… I know the captain would never hurt me. He's not Gin.

- Good. That's a good start. What were you doing?

- Just a little bit of training, you know… Thank you, Kensei, she said while hugging him, almost suffocating him with her chest.

He pushed her away, grumbling, and that made her smile. She linked their arms together and pulled him towards the divisions. He may have been a captain, but she liked the natural way he treated her. And his grumbling. He was the only officer she was totally at ease with. When they reached the sixth division, he stopped and turned to look at her.

- You'll be alright?

- Of course! Go back to your duties, captain! She laughed.

He left, mumbling to himself and she smiled again. He always made her smile. From the other side of the glass, Byakuya was staring at them, fascinated. So there were people she was not scared of. He never thought of Muguruma. The man was… well… not the most delicate. After a few days, he had hoped that she wouldn't be so afraid of him. But it was wishful thinking. It had already been 9 days, and she still looked like she could run away from him at anytime. She was tense, and it reflected on her performance. Rangiku turned and started towards the door when their eyes locked. Her smile faded, and he could see the fear in her eyes. He left. He had never scared anyone that much. Well, not intentionally at least. He could be merciless with people that deserved it. But even if Matsumoto was lazy, noisy and alcoholic, he never meant to scare her. He tried to figure out what was wrong with her, even if he kept it a secret. He suspected that it was her fear that made her unable to talk to Haineko. Her zanpakuto wasn't gone. She was just hid under the fear.

- Taicho? Asked Matsumoto, pretending to be fine as usual.

- Talk.

- I… Could you perhaps… you know… train with me… today… or…?

He glanced at his desk. Most of the paperwork had been done, there were just a few left. He had time.

- Meet me in 15 minutes, at the field you train on.

- How… how do you know?

- You are my fukutaicho, even temporarily. I always keep an eye out on my subordinates.

She blinked, surprised. Was it because he was a control freak because of him being the head of his clan, or was he just worried, like a father would be with his children? When she left, he sat at his desk and finished the paperwork. Her question took him by surprise. She was always avoiding him. Why the hell did she want to train with him? She could've asked Muguruma Kensei. She was not scared of him. When he was done, he went to meet her. The field was calm and appeasing. No wonder she liked It here. It was wide, and useful for training, with some trees to hide yourself. Matsumoto was waiting for him, Haineko on her knees, meditating. If it were Renji, and not Matsumoto, he would have jumped at him without a second thought. But it was Matsumoto the scaredy-cat. He didn't want to surprise her. So he looked at her closely. Matsumoto Rangiku was a beautiful woman. Tall, curvaceous, eyes to kill for and hair on fire. A lot of men were crazy about her in Sereitei. Not him, of course. He hadn't cared for the women since Hisana's death. But without even caring, he could tell. She wore a mask, just like him. His was a cold mask to ward off anyone would come too close. Hers was a joyous one. He never doubted she had once been the happy one, but he couldn't remember seeing her once without that smile. She probably hid her tears behind these smiles. Did nobody notice it? She opened her eyes, and met his stare. He couldn't quite figure out her eye color. Blue? Grey? Most probably a mix of both. That was when he noticed. There was no fear, in her eyes, and in the way she held herself. The corner of his lips went up, and she blinked. Kuchiki Byakuya… was smiling. He was smiling at her. A warm feeling appeared in her stomach and she looked down at her hands. No shaking. Her heart beatings were normal. She stood at once, and looked at the captain once more. He wasn't smiling anymore (well… it wasn't really a smile… it was more like… she wouldn't describe it… but it was probably the best he could do), but she could see something dancing in his eyes. She didn't really know what, but he didn't seem as shut as he always did.

- Let's have a go at it, he said.

They fought for a few hours. The captain obviously led, but Rangiku did a good job at keeping him at a distance. He even looked tired, and that was saying a lot.

- You've gotten better, he congratulated on their way back.

- Thank you, captain.

- Are you training with Muguruma-taicho?

- Oh no, she said, smiling. I wouldn't live long enough otherwise.

- I thought, he said raising his eyebrow. I've seen you come back together from training.

- I think he's just trying to escape Yachiru-chan, she laughed.

- Why would Kusajichi-fukutaicho be looking for him?

- Uh because he's supposed to train her… I thought you knew.

He didn't answer and continued to walk in silence. Rangiku looked at him, taken aback. Wasn't he listening during the meeting? That was the first time she heard of such a thing. He always seemed so serious that she was certain he had always been carefully listening to every word the Sôtaicho said. Now, she was beginning to think that there was more to him that he let on. After all, he could smile. Maybe the serious look he wore all the time was just hiding the fact that he was always bored? A giggle escaped her mouth. The captain glanced her way, surprised, but she didn't notice. Imagining him that way made him that much less scary. They finally reached the division, him quiet, her singing joyfully. He never really like her exuberance, but he had to admit that it was much more pleasant than seeing her shuddering in fear.

- Ran-chan, moaned a little voice.

- Oh oh, she whispered, looking around.

Unfortunately, it was already too late to escape. Yachiru-chan appeared, her pink hair flying and her cheeks reddened by the running she had done.

- Ran-chan, she asked, where is Mugu-chan?

- I don't know. Is he not at the 9th quarters?

- He's not! You're not hiding him, are you? He always hides with you!

- I promise. He was here earlier but he's long gone.

- That's not fair! I'm going to see Ken-chan then! She said and left.

- Mugu-chan? Byakuya asked once the child was gone.

- Ken-chan was already taken, Matsumoto smiled.

- You seem to have a good relationship with them.

He seemed surprised. She shrugged and nodded. She liked Kensei and Yachiru-chan was really cute, even if a little overbearing sometimes.

- You don't seem to have a good relationship with anyone, she retorted.

- I get along with Rukia. To a certain measure.

- Not enough to stop her execution it seems.

She put her hands on her mouth. She never meant to say that, or even talk about this at all. She felt fear creeping up, her hands beginning to shake. Byakuya noticed, and instead of saying something mean, as he was used to, he answered honestly.

- I already explained everything to Rukia, and she forgave me. I am not proud of that, and I swore to myself to protect her whatever might happen in the future.

Rangiku blinked, and her fear left as quick as it came. He answered. She couldn't believe it. But... well he did follow Rukia-san to Hueco Mundo, and she had heard that he had saved her from Zommaris the Espada who was about to kill her.

* * *

Rangiku was in her room with Hinamori. The young girl had brought sake for Rangiku, who hadn't drunk an ounce of alcohol since the war. She had tried to refuse, but Hinamori's earnestness had had reason of her. A few drinks later, she was happier than she had been from a very long time.

- So Hinamori. How is it going with Shiro-chan? She teased.

Hinamori blushed furiously, trying to deny the meaning of the question. Rangiku smile widely, proud of herself. She was giggling like a teenage girl, cheeks reddened by the sake, her skin beaded with sweat.

- Rangiku, shouted a voice.

- Haineko. She thought.

- Finally. Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you, baba?

- Haineko? She asked again.

She couldn't believe it.

- Stop being afraid of everybody you scaredy-cat. It's getting ridiculous!

- You came back…

- I never left. You were the one preventing me from entering.

- Sorry, she whined. I'm sorry…

Hinamori looked at her friend crying without understanding what was going on. A few seconds before, she was happily laughing. The red-haired woman raised so suddenly she jumped, startled.

- Hinamori… I'm sorry… There's somewhere I need to go right now.

Without waiting for an answer, she ran out, and shunpoed her way to the Kuchiki Manor. She didn't want to knock and have people drive her away. But she needed to tell him right now. She wouldn't wait. She hid her reiatsu and jumped on the roof, hoping to find the captain somewhere. A few minutes later, she stopped, defeated. She couldn't find him. She was just about to leave when a door opened, and Kuchiki-taicho walked out, looking straight at her. She smiled and jumped, a few feets away from her.

- How…

- I already told you. I'm keeping an eye on my subordinates. What happened? Your reiatsu sky-rocketed for a while.

- Haineko… she's back… well let's say I could talk to her… She said I was the one preventing her from coming. But now… she's like before…

Byakuya was staring at her. She seems like a child who found back her favorite toy. She seemed so happy. He nodded, just so that she knew he was listening. He never accepted home visits, but he would make an exception for her. Just this time. Suddenly, she was woobling on her feet, and he caught her just before she hit the ground. She smelled of alcohol. One more thing he didn't like about her. He sighed and took her to her room. Hinamori Momo stared at him, a surprised look on her face. He ordered her to leave, and she did without asking questions. He put Matsumoto on her bed, and tried to stand, but she had grabbed one of his sleeves and wouldn't let go. He sighed – again – and took his shihakusho off. She took it and held it close to her, rolling on her side.

- Gin, she mumbled. Gin… Gin.

He looked at her, confused. How could a woman still think so much of a man who had betrayed her in the worst way? He went home, somehow relieved that Matsumoto had been able to speak with Haineko.


End file.
